I Did It

I did it!  I said I wouldn't do it, I thought a lot about not doing it, I really didn't want to do it, but I still did it.....

I took these pounds into my 40's.

I have an issue with my weight.  My story may not be the same as yours.  For many of you, weight has always been your battle and it is hard to fight the genetics that you have received.  If this is you...please do not read this as me being insensitive toward you.  Please, please, please do not do that.  If you would see me, you may not think I am overweight....well, that's not true.  I am sure that if you know me, or have known me, you probably think that....but I have made a deliberate decision not to fret over that.  I make a point to suppress the desire to worry about what you might say when I turn away.    I have tried not to let my daughters know that me gaining 20 pounds really does bother me.  I really don't want it to be about how I look or how much I weigh.   Of course, I care about that....but it does not define me.  It doesn't define you, either.

I fool myself by thinking that if I buy cute tops that cover my butt, somehow, my weight won't be noticed.  I've also finally come to the realization that the problem is not the clothes...it's me.  In the past 10 years, I have had  two years of Lexipro to get me out of the fog of depression that was a result of my overactive, "say yes to everything" crazy period....(you will eventually crash, people!) But, that is another story for another day.  I did go through five steroid injections over a six month period for chronic neck pain...but, that is also another story for another day. Those things alone will put on extra pounds that are hard to get off.  But those things ultimately are not the reason I took these pounds into my 40's. 



FYI....maxi dresses are pretty forgiving.

It's not genetics...My mom is in her 60's and wears size zero pants.  I have been tempted to just grab her pants and see if I could even get them up past my thighs!  It's not that I work out all the time and just can't seem to get the weight off....ask my couch or the ladies from The View.  It's not even that I have been eating right, but my metabolism has just slowed so much.....ask the Dr. Pepper dispenser at the Big Gulp counter at 7-11.  I took these pounds into my 40's because I did not treat my body as the 'temple of the living God' and I had little self control.  I refused to deny myself  anything that I wanted and I found comfort in foods and Big Gulps when I was stressed or just needed a little treat.  When you get to the root of the problem, disobedience is why I took these pounds into my 40's.



seriously...this stuff's good!

My resolution this year is to be broken. For me, another stronghold is food. I don't know if you have ever tried fasting, but I have many times.  It is hard for me to fast even for one day!  Partly, because I am selfish and don't want to deny myself a treat and partly because my cells have been so conditioned to get fuel from junk, that without it, it's like every cell in my body is convulsing by the end of the day.  I started this year with a couple of days of fasting, trying to be obedient those days to replace my every thought about food with only thoughts about God.  I was amazed how much I thought about food.  It was also very hard to not go around "looking gloomy....with a distorted face" (see Luke 6:16), because it really is that hard for me.

I have committed to be more deliberate with what and when I eat.  I'm not really interested in freaking out about a diet and exercise program.  I just want to be obedient when it comes to food and health. The food I eat or don't eat, will not commend me before God (1 Cor. 8:8)....it is not the food, it is the heart.   Ideally, at the end of the year, I will be healthier and it will be noticeable.  But, since the issue with my weight is a matter of the heart, hopefully my heart will be what changes the most.

                         
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31        

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you whom you have from God?  You are not your own,  for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.  
1 Corinthians 6:19-20  
                 
For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. 
Luke 12:23   
    
But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. 
1 Corinthians 9:27      
    
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.                                                Romans 12:1-2