The Thing about Finales

Our friends open their home every July 4th and have a big celebration with a great fireworks show.  All the dads go to the fireworks stand together and buy as many cool things that blow up as possible.  It's a legit display....passing cars stop and watch.  It rivals any small town fireworks show.

No matter where you are, the fireworks show will look a little something like this: small fireworks with magnificent ones mixed in, a little patriotic music playing in the background, family and loved ones all around, and maybe also mosquitoes, lightening bugs, blankets, lawn chairs, cold drinks, applause and laughter. Then, the finale, where they blow up the biggest Chinese powder tubes that they have saved for the end.  One after another lights up the sky and the crowd "oohs" and "awes".  For several minutes the loud the explosions and color cause everyone to stop and be inspired by the last amazing display.

 

Every year, I catch myself waiting for the finale. 

Since I never know exactly how long the show is going to last,  after about 5 minutes, I begin thinking, "is this the start of the finale?".  When it isn't, I wait a little longer and then I say, "Ooh, maybe this one is starting the finale".  I think what ends up happening is that I spend at least 50% of the show waiting for the finale....not because I want it to be over, but because I know how great the finale will be.

I have great visions of sitting in rocking chairs with my husband when we retire. (At the lake house that I dream about).  I will have just pulled cookies out of the oven and we will be waiting for the precious grandchildren (from the lovely Christian families that I dream about our daughters having).  I will have earlier in the week served a great dinner to sweet friends (from all of the fantastic relationships that I built during my life).  I may have just gotten off of the phone from a publisher (that wanted to bind and sell the stuff that God puts in my mind and on my heart).  

I will be in the middle of the finale of my life, "oohing" and "awing" about all of the blessings that God has allowed us to have.  But, if I am not careful, I think that I will miss the entire show because I was looking so forward to the finale.  Or worse yet:

The finale may not look anything like I imagined, because I was always more concerned with the finished product than I was with the steps it takes to get there.

The other day, I bought a new clock for the kitchen and I wanted to hang it close to the edge of the wall.  If I had waited for Tim to come home, he would have used a stud finder and a level.  He would have gotten a pencil to make marks and a ruler to make everything even.  Instead, I grabbed a hammer and a couple of pretty large nails and just started pounding into the wall.  I hit a stud on one side and then the other side was too low.  I moved that nail, then tried to just hammer the other nail into the stud all the way and hammer another nail a little lower.  In my excitement to hang up the clock and have the perfect display, I semi-destroyed that portion of the wall. The final product looks really good, but if the clock is removed, the wall underneath is a mess.

There really are no easy shortcuts.  If you want something done right, you have to do it right every step of the way. 

If you want a perfect marriage, you have to work to make it perfect.  It has to be priority...not just you both doing your thing and thinking that God's just going to bless it because you profess to have a Christian marriage.  You actually have to put yourself aside sometime and actually care more about your spouse than you do yourself.  You have to pray and entreat God to intervene and fill you minute by minute with His patience and wisdom.

If you want the reward of Godly children, you have to teach them about Jesus and model God's love in the home.  You can't just be a professing Christian parent that goes to church once a week and hangs stuff you get from Mardel up on your wall.  You have to put yourself aside and spend the time and energy it takes raise children in the Lord.  You have to study the Bible so that you can teach them the Bible. They won't "catch" it from you like they catch the flu.....

If you want to be a good friend, you have to do the things that good friends do.  You need to care day to day, return calls, pray with them and show concern even when it is not easy.  You can't just be an efficient friend, a friendly person when you run into them.  You have to actually reach out and sacrifice a little and dig deep.  It is hard to be a really good friend.  I am challenged in this area, and I am realizing everyday, how important it is that I teach our daughters how to be a good friend, too. 

If you want to do a "big thing" for God, do the little things with the most zeal. Can He trust you with the big things if He can't trust you to do all of the little things that he has put on your heart to do?

If we are not lighting fuses along the way, how will we ever make it to a spectacular finale.  Afterall, the firework show is not about the 5 minute finale, it is about every single match that strikes to light every singe fuse to set off every single firework. 

We have to stop waiting for the finale and just start lighting the fuses of the items before us right now.

The disciples were notorious for waiting for the finale.  Jesus chided them often, because they were so worried about the finale.  In their defense, what they were waiting for was really cool.  In fact, they were waiting for the finale that we are still waiting for....the finale of all finales!!  When Jesus Christ reigns in full glory, Satan and all enemies are cast away forever, full victory is gained and we reign for eternity with Him. 

They had been learning, growing and walking with Christ for three years.  They were persecuted and despised by many.  They left everything and sacrificed to be his disciples.  At the end of the three years, He would leave them.   They would be the same men with the same circumstances, but they would have the Holy Spirit to guide and empower them.  With the exception of John, all of their lives would end with people killing them because of their affiliation with Christ. 

Throughout his ministry, the disciples seemed preoccupied with the end or about their ultimate role. While the end is the reason and the motivation for the daily steps in faith, we must focus on the steps needed to get there.

Jesus would switch their focus from the far off events to the events before them for that very day. 

In one incident recounted in Mark 9, they had just witnessed the many miracles and were walking into another town with Jesus.  He was warning them again that he was going to be killed. As they were walking and listening to his teaching, a couple of them started arguing about who was the greatest (this bickering is also recorded in Matthew and Luke, too).  It's as if they were all walking together and two of them were trying to figure out  who the big honcho of the group was. Jesus was listening to them, but didn't say a word.  When they got to Capernaum, they went inside a house to rest. Jesus challenged them on what they had been discussing, they said nothing in reply.  He gathered them all and taught a lesson in humility and servanthood and encouraged them to be like the little children. 
"If anyone would be the first, he must be last of all and servant of all"- Mark 9:3

In a similar discussion later in Mark 10, Jesus again told them that he would be killed. James and John pulled Jesus aside and had the gall to ask him if they could sit next to him in heaven.  Basically telling him, we know that you are going to die and reign from a throne in heaven....can we sit by your side?  The others were appalled by this question, but surely they had all had similar thoughts....they just never asked.  Jesus gathered them again and taught them about humility and servanthood.  He did have a plan for them to all side by his side in the kingdom (Luke 22:28-30)....but they weren't to concern themselves with that.
" Whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all.  For even the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many".- Mark 10:43

While it is natural for people to try to see the big picture, Jesus was telling them to not worry about the big picture, just do the little things and walk daily step by step, serving and dying to self. 

Don't just focus on the end, but focus on the daily decisions that will lead you to the end you desire.

When the time came for Jesus to leave the earth and return to heaven, he had a fantastic final encounter with his disciples (Acts 1).  He gave them instructions on what to do next and they knew that his time with them was drawing to an end.  They brought up the question of the big picture again.  They asked him, "Is this the time that you are going to restore the kingdom to Israel?".  In other words, "Is the big finale for which we have all been waiting?"  Everything was going to bewrapped up in a big neat package and they were ready for it!

Jesus's last words to them before He ascended into heaven, were, "It is not for you to know time or seasons....but you will be my witnesses when the Holy Spirit has come upon you".  Basically He told them not to worry about anything except being His witnesses and getting to work.  The end is in God's hands and He is in control....just go do what I have told you to do.  Do it every day and do it in my power.  Then they watched Him go up and disappear.  Standing there with their jaws on the floor and their eyes on the skies, two angels came and said quit standing there and get moving!

It is not about how it all ends, or the big finale, it's about the little pieces all long the way.

You've heard this quote:

"Life's what happens when you are busy making other plans."  It was in a John Lennon song, and was around before that.  There is so much truth in that.  We all know this...how life is short and time is fleeting...blah, blah, blah.  But it's true. 

"Blink and they are gone"- True
"One day, you will look up and it will all be over"- True
"Don't wish away a single day"- True
"Stop and smell the roses"- True
"No man ever said on his deathbed, 'I wish I had spent more time at the office"- True

In this digital, social media age, most of us-especially our children- spend more time in everyone else's moments than we do in our own, with all of the reality shows, fb statuses, tweets and IG updates.  Being in everyone else's business is taking us out of our own.

Start serving and loving and do it day by day by day.  Start enjoying each little moment and event and do it day by day by day. Quit waiting for the finale. 

Don't miss the whole show because you were longing for the end. See the thing about finales is, when they do come, the show is over.

This is Your Invitation

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”                     Matthew 28:19-20

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” Acts 1:8 

If you have been waiting for someone to ask you to serve God, this is your invitation. Jesus has already invited you. 

I love the church, but remember that the church is not a building.  It is not just the group of people that you worship with every week.  You are the church because you are in the body of Christ.  You have authority to serve and power to witness, not because of the local church that you belong to, but because the power of the living God dwells in you and has called you to go and witness for Him.

Christians spend too much time organizing and making plans.  I can't tell you how many times over the years I have made phone calls and Excel spreadsheets organizing workers. I have come up with clever titles for events, bought treats for helpers, made flyers and schedules, decorated tables, the list goes on and on.  I think that Christians have become spoiled and we are all waiting for our local church to organize something that we can go do for a few hours to serve God.  We want our children to see us serving God and learn how to do that.  We want to make the people happy that call us on the phone and ask for our help.  We want to make sure that if no one stepped up to do it, we at least will try so that we can help with whatever they are organizing.  After all, if no one helps, the event won't take place.

I think that church programs have messed up our thinking on this.  Hear me, if your church is needing you to serve, you have a responsibility as a member of your local body of believers to help.  But, do not wait for them to ask you to get out of your stinking self and do something for God.  I have spent so many years as a Christian, being so utterly concerned with myself and my own spiritual growth or participation in programs, that it kind of makes me sick.  Being a Christian is not about how well you do at spending 15 minutes every morning reading your devotional over coffee (though that is good for growing closer to God personally and learning His word).  It is not about denying yourself the extra cookies or whatever you crave (though it is good to practice self discipline and not be a slave to your flesh).  It is not about signing up on every sheet that goes around (though it is good to help when there is a need).  All of those things are important.  They keep you focused and give you ways to act out your faith.

But, listen to me!  We do not need to wait until we know enough or are good enough.  We do not need to wait until our own local church has asked us to join them for something.  We need to listen to what God is calling us to do and just do it!!!  Being a Christian is loving and serving God and loving and serving others. 

I am going to share a story with you.  I am not doing this to give myself any glory or praise.  I am doing this to give you an example of hearing an invitation from God and just acting on it.

Once, when I took my girls for mani/pedis, I stopped for a minute and took it all in.  There we were, just spending money for a treat.   It wasn't necessary and it was frivolous, but it was fun.  It was fun because for a little bit, we just sat there and had someone do something that made us feel a little prettier.  We were pampered.

Then later that week, I met with my small accountability group, and I stopped for a minute and took it all in.  There we were, women, sitting on a couch in the middle of a morning, sharing, laughing and praying with each other.   We are all busy, but we try to get together, just to share needs and have honest vulnerability and transparency.  It is not necessary, we don't have to do it....but it is good to be with other women.  We were fellowshipping. 

God grabbed my heart and place an idea in there.  What if I went to hurting women and painted their nails and just sat with them a while?  What if, instead of meeting a real need or just donating money, I just did something frivolous for them and loved them in Christ for a little bit every week.  God put this idea in my heart four month ago....and then I just let it sit there.

I'm busy.  I have stuff going on.  So do you....it doesn't matter.  If God has placed something on your heart, just go do it!

I sat with our home group last week and we were discussing Pharisees....you know, the people who were supposed to love God the most, but had completely lost sight of what that meant?  God had been speaking to my heart all that week that until I went and painted the nails, everything was on hold.  I know that sounds strange and it may not even be true.  But, I felt like God has something big for me to do, but He would not do it until I went and sat and painted nails.  So that night, I told our group what I wanted to do.  I told them, because I knew that when we met the next week, they would hold me accountable.  If they asked if I had done it, and I said no, they had permission to throw stuff at me:)

 

So a week passed and it was the day of the next home group.  I was running out of hours.  I said I would do it, so I had to.  I got in my car, and drove to Food and Shelter for Friends in downtown Norman.  I had asked them months ago about doing this, so they knew that someday I would come. 

I pulled up around 10 and a crowd was already out there waiting for lunch.  There were probably 50 people all around in in middle of the day.  They were one block south of the theatre where we spend a lot of time.  They were there because they were hungry.  Many were homeless.

I will tell you more about this later, but for now, you just need to know that I drove there and I went in and I painted fingernails for an hour and a half.  It didn't really cost me anything, it didn't take much time.  But this weekend, I thought about women like Natalie and Julie, that had sparkly, pretty nails because I listened to God and just did it.  I am looking forward to going back there every week and some of my friends and my daughters will be going there, too.

If there is something that God has placed on your heart to do, please just do it.  If you can do it with your local church, great!  But if you can't, just do it.  Get with the people that are doing things and do it!  Or just go by yourself.  You have the power from the Holy Spirit and you have the command from Christ.....just go.  And when you are there, make sure they know you love Jesus and that is why you came.  This is your invitation. 

If you do not see the image, Click here for Casting Crowns' song, If We Are the Body 

 

 

 

Fussy

Last weekend, Tim and I worked the Sweet Shop at the theater.  When we volunteer in there, I always spend the whole time at the popcorn machine and Tim is the cashier and is face to face with the customers. 

We are a well oiled machine....not just in the concession stand, but in life in general.  We are a good team.  We serve, teach and work together.  We often send the same text at the same time and it's not uncommon for us to finish each other's sentences.   We are so used to teaching as a couple, that when I teach without him by my side, I feel like something is missing. He really is my best friend.  The cheesy Jerry Maguire line, "You Complete Me", works for us.  That's how we feel. 




One of my favorite Mary Engelbreit pictures, we have it in a frame.

We got to this point, because we focused on the other person as much, if not more, than we focused on ourselves.  We checked in with each other before scheduling things, buying things, going places....we touched base throughout the day.  I saved a few minutes to look in the mirror and freshen up before he came home, and when he did, I tried to meet him at the door.  We laughed at dinner and couldn't wait to go to the movies or do something fun together.  I cared if he might be thirsty working in the yard or hungry for a snack. We always went back to bed together.  We always put toothpaste on the other's toothbrush.  We always kissed before we said goodnight.

Lately, I've let selfishness creep into my heart.  I do what I want, then I tell him.  I go where I want, then I tell him.  I grab a snack and don't see if he wants one, too.   I have caught myself getting into the habit of going to the bedroom, watching DVR'd stuff and just falling asleep for the night....while he is still in the other part of the house.

I am catching myself starting to get selfish and this blog is meant to wake me.  Let this be a wake up call to you, too.

Some of you reading this are not married, some have been, but are not anymore.  But, for those of you that are married....get over yourself and remember that marriage is

1 + 1= 1  not 1 + 1= 2

Don't get selfish.  Marriage is a team sport.  It works when you work together.  The two become one.  Once you start trying to go solo, if you are not careful, you will look up and be far, far away. 

I do not want that to happen to us, or to you!

One of our all time favorite studies on marriage is Tommy Nelson's video series on Song of Solomon and it's companion book, The Book of Romance.  We went through this study when we dated and have facilitated it with many groups through the years.  Tommy Nelson married us in Norman in 1993 and we actually had the great privilege of having a few pre-marital counseling meetings with him. 

I always remembered something that he said in one of the lessons, but when I was a younger wife, I did not get it.   From his book:

 I asked my wife, Teresa, one time what happens when women get older.  I said, "Men get rigid and robotic.  We start operating by rote.  What is it that women become?"

She replied, "We get fussy.  We have no tolerance for things not being done our way."

We reflected upon these statements for a while and came to two conclusions: (1)  these traits do not necessarily need to develop and  (2)  these traits develop because people become self-centered and self-focused.  They increasingly want what they want, to the exclusion of others.

Webster's dictionary defines fussy as fastidious about one's needs or requirements; hard to please

In May, we celebrate our 20th anniversary.  I have become fussy.  I am sweet about it, but I am fussy.  Some of the little things that I used to do, I don't do anymore.

While we were working in the Sweet Shop, we actually had a little argument about what a customer said.  I thought he said "do you have any diet cokes" and Tim heard "do you have any diet candy".  Keep in mind, I was facing the loud popcorn machine and Tim was looking at the man's face.  I seriously bantered back and forth, trying to prove that he wanted diet coke.  Are you kidding me?  What does it matter, anyway?

Sometimes, instead of supporting him and helping him, I try to show that I know more.

Sometimes, when he comes home for the day, he has to come find me.

The other day, I realized that it was almost dinner time, and I hadn't touched base with him all day....

Last night, I rolled over and went to sleep and didn't even say goodnight.

In order for marriage to work, you have to get outside of yourself and care as much or even more about your spouse than you do yourself.  It doesn't matter if you get your way or win every argument.  I am not the boss of him.  I am his helpmeet and supporter.  I am created and given to him to encourage him and provide a safe haven.  In Song of Solomon language, we both should be like apple trees, providing shade and comfort.  Of all the people on earth, he should want to be with me the most, and vice versa.  Of the places in the world, home should be the best of all.

Do you find yourself in a marriage of two?  If you are a man, have gotten rigid and robotic?  If you are a women, are you selfish and fussy?

Robert and Elizabeth Browing, the Victorian Era poets, had a famous love.  It was Elizabeth that wrote:

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

 

 

And Robert, to his wife, in his poem  "Rabbi ben Ezra":

 

          Grow old along with me
          The best is yet to be,
          The last of life, for which the first was made:
          Our times are in His hand
          Who saith "A whole I planned,
          Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!''




Marriage isn't the early years, when you are still in the honeymoon stage and everything about everything is perfect.  Marriage is about the entirety of a life together.  Life gets messy and sometimes hurts.  Marriage is two people with individual goals, passions and preferences that have learned how to work as one.

Tim and I are a well oiled machine, because from the beginning, we looked to God for our standard and our instructions. We love God more than we love each other.  And, though it sounds strange, we love each other more than we love our children-at least it's a different kind of love.  Our relationship with our children is not the same.  We have been given them as a gift, and they are our great blessings.  But, we are not in a covenantal relationship with them like we are with each other.  One day, they will be gone and they will enter into the covenant of marriage.  As much as I love my daughters, if I do not love my husband more, I am not modeling the right relationship for them.  If the most important relationship in all of my life is not my husband, then I will not have the marriage that I want- or marriage as God designed it to be.    Once we start taking our eyes off of that, we will begin to slip. 

You don't get to "the last of life, for which the first was made" by being rigid and fussy.  You get there by being kind, soft, and attentive.  You get there by putting the needs of your spouse above your own. 

You get there by:

Not only looking at your interests, but the interests of others (Phil 2:4). 
Loving and respecting each other (Eph. 5).
Honoring the structure of the family (Eph. 5)
Having a having the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3)
Not allowing Satan to enter and tempt because you deny and neglect each other sexually (1 Cor. 7)
Serving each other as if serving the Lord (Eph. 6, Col. 3)
Denying yourself and walking in the Spirit (Gal. 5)

Look at yourself....are you fussy?  Get over yourself and love your mate.  Love God with all your heart and all your soul and all your might.  I'm pretty sure if loving God was my focus,  my fussy would fade away.....

 

Carl & Ellie: The Married Life- Video Clip from Disney's/Pixar Up
Click here if the video window doesn't show on your mobile device

 

Perfect People

Webster's definition of perfect:

a : freedom from fault or defect : flawless b : maturity c : the quality or state of being saintly 

or

a : an exemplification of supreme excellence  b : an unsurpassable degree of accuracy or excellence

 

There are two types of perfect:

Perfect in Christ & Perfect before People.  

Only the first one is possible.

Perfect in Christ

God is perfect, Jesus is God, and so Jesus is perfect.  When we accept Christ, we are given His righteousness and His righteousness is perfect.  So through Christ we are made perfect. 

"Because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy” Hebrews 10:14

This week we celebrate the last week of Jesus's life.  The week our King drove into town on a common farm animal.  The week our King was hunted and despised by those He came to save.  The week our King was betrayed by his friend for coins.  The week our King was crowned with a thorny vine.  The week our King had his flesh and his heart ripped by the sins of the world. 

The week our King died for us.

This is why we are perfect.  We are perfect because Christ died for us.  The sins that separated us from a holy God were nailed to the cross with Christ.  The blood that was shed by Him that day became the blood that washes us clean and removes all sin and guilt.  Those that are in Christ are new creations, we now have the righteousness of Christ.  When God sees us (and by us, I mean our good stuff and our sins and failures....all of us), He sees Christ's righteousness! 

For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21

By no work or merit of our own, we are righteous before a Holy God.

Hear it again:

By no work or merit of our own, we are righteous before a Holy God.

This world has a skewed view of reality.  It is hard to know what's real, because so much is fabricated these days.  "Reality shows" are carefully produced ratings machines.  Who knows what is real anymore?

I know for certain that God is more real than any real we know.  So our perfection in Christ is more real than any real we know.  It is free from lies and is not tainted in any way.   Because of the perfect sacrifice of Christ that day, we can approach the Throne of Grace as perfect, without blemish or spot!  Perfect before a Holy God.  Perfect in Christ.....that is real.

There is one real form of perfect:  Perfect in Christ

There is one false form of perfect:  Perfect before People

 

Perfect Before People

 

Miss "Got it all together"

 

In our quest to be perfect, we put on all kinds of shows.  Rather than claiming perfection in Christ and seeking the approval of God, we keep trying to act perfect and seek the approval of Man.  This leads to false security, hypocrisy and defeat.

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

 

False Security

It is a lie that if we act good enough, we are good enough.  We can look good on the outside and be rotting away on the inside.  We can be bold before people and hide from God at the same time.  I think about King David (see 2 Samuel 11-12).  For nearly a year, he lived separated from fellowship with his God because he continued down a path of deception and sin after his one act of adultery with Bathsheba.  He was a conniving, manipulating mess.  All the while, he still sat on the throne as the beloved King on Israel.  I'm sure a few in his circle knew the full story, but for the most part, he clipped along and received the praises of the people. His psalms about this event (32 & 51) show that all along, he was broken inside, but he keep going down the wicked path that he had paved. 

God, in His love and great mercy, initiated restoration and healing with David, by sending the prophet Nathan to call him out.  He basically told him, "you are living a lie and you are not getting away with it".  David's attempt to be perfect before the people was giving him false security.  God, who sees the hearts of men, saw the heart of David.  God is faithful and God is love.  Even in our pitiful attempts to cover what's inside, He reaches to us and leads us to His perfection.  And for us, like David, our perfection is in Christ alone, because the reality of our lives is that they are marred with sin and wrapped in selfishness.  Seeking perfection before people gives us false security, but resting in the perfection we have in Christ gives us a sure hope and foundation....like an anchor in a stormy sea.

Hypocrisy 

In scripture, the cast of the 'Hypocrisy Show' was led by the Pharisees.  These men were leaders in the temple, all Israel looked to them for knowledge and examples of integrity.  They trusted them and counted them as the most righteous of all.  The problem is they had distorted hearts and cared most about how they looked in front of the people.  In their fancy robes, they would float around like saints giving the pitiful public a chance to catch their glory.  Jesus called them white washed walls and white washed tombs.  Like having a grungy, dirty wall, brushing it with bright white paint and considering it new.  Or having a grave with a rotted dead corpse inside, but with a sparkling white marble headstone.  When we choose to look perfect above all else, never considering the condition of our heart before God, we choose to paint our walls white and buff our tombstones.

Jesus also told them that they were washing the outside, like washing the outside of a dirty cup, but tending not to the inside.  Just imagine if all we ever washed was the outside of our glasses.  Over time, those things would get nasty!  I would much rather drink from a glass that was clean on the inside and dirty on the outside.  We do this with our lives, too!  We put on smiles and freshen up the outside.  Let me just tell you how freeing it is to repent before God and then before a few people that can hold you accountable.  Real restoration is from the inside out. 

The ancient Greeks put on great shows.  Crowds would come from miles away to watch the actors on the stage.  The actor was whoever the script needed him to be.  And for the next show, he was whatever it needed him to be.  He would wear masks, "Personas", to portray the character the crowd expected to see.  Then he would do ,"Hypokrisis", play-acting.



Today, we still do "Hypokrisis" wearing our "Personas", except we are not ancient Grecian actors on the stage.  We are Christians that want the world to see perfect people.  Besides the obvious problem of not being authentic and real with people, there is another dangerous aspect of hypocrisy.  Hypocrisy leads to frustration and defeat.  At some point, the play ends and we are revealed for who we really are.  Just imagine how cool it would be if we all just took our masks off now.  Be real, because when you are real, you reveal your weakness.  When you reveal your weakness, you can shout God's strength. 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  2 Corinthians 12:9-10

 

Stop being who you think others want you to be and start showing them that even though you are not where you want to be, you are working on it.  You are trusting God and letting His power be perfected in your weakness.  You are not good enough, but your God is.  And remember that before Him, you are made perfect in Christ.  Our faith in perfected in our struggles. James 1:2-4

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. 

 

 I am not implying that we be okay with our outside being dirty either!  The amazing thing about taking off masks, and cleaning from the inside, is that the outside will reflect that.  The external radiations from a broken saint are beautiful, because they are reflections of God's grace and mercy.  When you are weak and humble, God is strong.  God will get the glory, not you. 

It's God's glory, not mine. 

"But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. For neither circumcision counts for anything, nor uncircumcision, but a new creation. And as for all who walk by this rule, peace and mercy be upon them, and upon the Israel of God." Galatians 6:14-16

Defeat

We were not created to be sufficient on our own.  We were designed to worship and bring glory to God.  Any attempts to bring glory to ourselves or try to win God's favor in our own strength, will be futile and frustrating.  Freedom is found in surrender.  Meekness before God is real strength.

A problem with Christians trying to look perfect before men, is that they just might be able to pull it off....at least for a while.  Then this leads to the defeat of those watching you.  They might say, "She's got it all together, and my life's a mess" or "Everything about him is so perfect, there is no way that I can ever be like that".  Then what happens is they begin to transfer this to their Christian faith.  "She's a Christian and she's perfect, so I must not be faithful enough or obedient enough" or "Maybe God really doesn't like me, because he is not blessing me like he is blessing him". 

These are all lies from the pit of hell! None of us are good enough.  All we can boast in is Christ.  Be real with people and let them know that you struggle.  Your greatest hurt can become your greatest ministry.  If God permitted the pain, don't waste it.  Take the lessons that you have learned and help others.  Let God use opportunities like that to "make all things work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purposes" (Romans 8:28)

You are perfect in Christ.  Your Christian race of faith should be marching you toward Christlikeness in your heart.  As you grow in your faith, you are being set apart and seeking to obey the words that you hear.  The beauty of Christianity, is that as you become more like Christ on the inside, the outside starts to look more like Christ, too.  So ideally, your outside will become perfectly white.  But when the perfectly white is from God's work in your life, not from your futile efforts to appear good enough, that will be attractive to people.  People will be drawn to you and ultimately drawn to your God.  These are the only perfect people we should try be....

 

 

“I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am”  John Newton

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.  Ephesians 2:8-10

 

 

 

 

"The Funk"

The house I grew up in had a long staircase that led from the second floor right to the front door.  We slid down the banister and ran down those steps everyday.  To see who was at the door, without them seeing you, you just had to crawl to the landing and peek through the rails.  If the main door was open, you could see right out to the porch, because of the large storm door.

One day, I was doing what I normally did, running spastically down the stairs.  For some reason, I decided to just run right out to the front yard.  I had my eyes on the porch and only a freshly cleaned storm door stood in between.  So yes, I ran full speed, down the stairs until an hard slam stopped me right there.  I was embarrassed, I'm sure, but not really hurt.  I remember it was unexpected and it startled me.  I am still baffled that I would not have remembered it was there and stopped to open it first.



Some random person's door, but it was a lot like this....
 

Sometimes, things just pop up and take us by surprise.  For some reason, when thinking about the strange week I have had, I was reminded of this silly storm door story. 

I have been so discouraged, because I have been running along just fine and feel like I hit an unexpected slam last week that stopped me in my tracks.  Other than meeting a couple of friends with whom I had already made plans, I have spent most of the week holed up in my house, even in my bed.

Around here, I call it "The Funk".  When "The Funk" comes, it is way different than just having a bad day.  It's different from being in a funk, this is "The Funk".  It's like having a week of bad days, with no end in sight.  I am a very upbeat, optimistic person, so bad days don't come around very often for me.  In fact, this week came on so unexpectedly and powerfully, that if you read my "Dark Behind the Smile" blog, I'm kind of afraid I'm back there.


 

Definitely not me!  Hard to muster fake smile and certainly did not cook all week....I did finally wash my hair today. Winning!

Not wanting to sound like a whiner, I'm just going to put it out there, because someone reading it needs to hear this.  I have had nearly two years of chronic neck pain.  I have had MRI's, X-rays, three epidural injections and two facet injections.  I have had probably eight total months of PT, trigger point injections, massages, Lortab, icepacks, traction, and everything else in between.  I have seen orthopedic doctors and a neurosurgeon.  Not a disc issue, no diagnosis.  Basically just an invisible nuisance that has rendered me useless multiple times in the last two years.  Sometimes, when it flares up, I have bad headaches, confusion and I can't even collect coherent thoughts to write. A couple of weeks ago, my head started this weird, random shake....which is annoying and I'm not going to let it scare me. 

I live with it and it just has become part of who I am.  If I really focus on the pain, it's the same as always, I am just used to it.  Sometimes, I think that it will just be like this the rest of my life.  Sometimes, I want to go back to another doctor and run more tests....but I feel like they will not find an answer, either.  I do have an appointment with an ENT next month....so I am a little hopeful he will have some ideas. 

Early in my journey with this, someone said "have you ever considered, this may be your thorn?" (2 Corinthians 12).   I didn't want to hear that, but if it is, I will praise God through it and let Him get glory through my pain. 
 

Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  2 Corinthians 12:8-10 

When I battled with depression seven years ago, I felt like if I could just kick it's butt, it would never come back again.  I had successful treatment and scaled back dramatically.  Saying no to activities became a way of life for me and I clipped along feeling good....until last week. 

If you have ever experienced a crash, you know what I am talking about.  It's scary and it is not welcome!!!

After several years of scaled back activity, I have recently become more involved again.  I have been running and going and loving being active again. You know how once someone has had a heat stroke, they can no longer tolerate heat?  Well, it's kind of like I can no longer tolerate stress.  Let me tell you....that is so inconvenient!  I totally love action and go,go, go!  I am not a homebody, I am a go getter!  But, it's almost like I can't go get anymore.

And then, I wonder how long my body can take this nagging pain?  That's gotta be stressing me out all the time.

I guess I reached a threshold last week and slammed into the storm door.  Didn't expect it, but it was there....and it stopped me cold.

This is what needs to happen to me now.  And, if you are in this same boat, this is what you need to do today.

When "The Funk" comes

Get Up:

Even if you feel like laying there all day, get up.  If someone calls and you don't feel like talking, answer the phone.  Turn off the TV, make the bed, take a shower, make some food, and get up.  There is legitimate tired and then there is legitimate funkified laying around.  If you have been laying around so long that there is no possible reason for you to still be tired....get your hiney up and get going!

Get Down:

Humble yourself before the Lord and ask Him to be your strength.  Open the Bible and read.  You are not going to feel like it and it may be the last thing that you want to do....but do it.  If you want power and strength that does not come from you, you have to submit to God and ask for it.  Remembering that there is a sovereign Lord that has you in His hands is both comforting and freeing.  Worship Him and give Him your all.  He is faithful and He cares. 

When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.  Psalms 34:17

I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.   Psalms 40:1-3

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7

 

Get Out:

As much as you do not feel like that 50's lady in the picture above, you have to get dressed and get out.  An hour or two with a friend, really helps!  I did it twice this week and I promise, it helps! Friends remind you that you are loved and that you do make a difference.

I am the worst person to remind us all how important it is to get moving.  The most get moving I have done lately is to the mailbox.  I'm thinking that it would really help if I put on my running shoes and at least walked around the block!  The fresh air and sounds of nature have a great way of rejuvenating a sad soul.  It's spring time, the birds are all back.  Sit on your porch and watch birds for a while. Birds always remind me of God's provision, faithfulness and goodness.  And springtime reminds me that winter doesn't last forever.   

Get On With Your Life:

For me, I have decided to go back on Lexipro. I am not ashamed, because I recognize "The Funk" when I see it. I put off the decision to start the medicine again earlier in the year, because I am so afraid of the weight gain that I know is coming.  I'm thinking that is probably another reason I should be getting out my running shoes...and actually running.  If you can't shake it, talk to someone and get some help.  This is not how your life should be.  Give God glory through your dark days and look forward to the day that you will be back in the light. 

While life goes on even when I am in "The Funk", it is not the life that my family deserves.  If you choose to stay locked up and turned in to yourself, letting "The Funk" win, then it will win.  Do not let your void feeling rule your life.  Get over it and get going again.  I thank God that my husband is so gentle and kind and helps me during these times.  But, I need to get over it and get on with life. 

As much as I haven't felt like writing in a couple of weeks, I felt that I had to write this today.  If this is you.....let this be your call to Get up, Get Down, Get Out, and Get On with your life.

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.  Psalms 42:11

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.    2 Corinthians 1:3-4

 

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. 1 Peter 4:12-13 

 Praise Him through the pain.  He is King and Healer. 

 

 

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;

a broken and contrite heart,

O God, you will not despise.

 Psalm 51:16

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Passing the Baton

  

One of our daughters runs relays for the high school track team.  An important aspect of the relay race is handing off the baton.  All the runner has to do is hand a little 12” metal stick to the next person on the track.   How hard can that be?  In reality, If runners only run, never thinking of passing the baton on to someone else, they could be set up for a major mistake.  They could lose seconds because of an inefficient hand-off, but, if they drop it, they are disqualified from the race.  The  goal is to run full speed and time it so the next runner can just grab it and go.  The shorter the race, the more critical the hand-off.  In world class races, the runners do blind hand-offs and don’t even use sound cues because of the loud crowds.  It becomes like a math equation,  based on speed, steps and distance in the pass zone.   

No matter how fast anyone is on the track, the race is over for them if they drop the stick.

In the 1998 Olympics, both men's and women's 4 x 100M relays dropped the baton at the final exchange.   Britain's team is famously known for baton errors, being plagued by the stick in three of the last four Olympics and a World Championship.  If it weren't for that little stick, those relay team members would have probably won Olympic medals. 

Passing the baton is critical to the race.  It cannot be overlooked.

Tyson Gay and Darvis Batton, 2008 Olympics

As our daughters get older, I am starting to feel the brevity of our time with them. The average life span is around 80 years.  This means our children are under our roof for only the first leg of the race, 1/4 of their life.  It is our job to send them out and pass the baton so that they can continue to run the race of faith. 

Some of you may feel like you are in a good stride, your race is going well, and you do not need adjustments.  If that is you, please come along side other parents and encourage them and be witnesses that it can be done. 

But, some feel like you have already dropped the baton and been disqualified from the race. You may be frustrated, beaten up, confused and discouraged.  Please realize that sometimes the most learning and faith building comes through these tough times.

If you feel like you have dropped the baton, just go back and get it and start over.  As long as you are their parent, it is not too late to repent, make adjustments, and get back on the track again.  God honors broken and contrite spirits (Psalm 51) and that would be the best place to start again.   

In reference to parenting and talking to teens, Joe White, Director of Kanakuk Kamps, says:

"It's never too late to start, and it's always too soon to quit!"

Get in the race and realize that your time with them is short!  If you aren't actively working to pass the baton of faith, there is a big probability it won't be passed.  The world is not going pass it to them.  The most authentic place for faith to be genuine and lived out, is in our homes.  At times, we will fail.  At times, we will be lazy and begin to look like the world inside of our homes.  But, we cannot stay there!  We must be proactive and show our children that it can be done.  We can be the witnesses to our own family!  If you have messed it up, then start again.  Go to your children and apologize to them, model humility.  Tell them that is important and that you are going to be deliberate again.  No more half-hearted parenting.....half-hearted parents are in danger of dropping the baton.     

"Half-hearted Christians are of little threat to Satan because they are of little benefit to Christ"  John MacArthur

As we pass the baton to our children, we need to remember to: 

Be Intentional

Have a goal, know where you want to go and take steps to get there.  Let your children see you read and talk about the Bible.  Bring God into the daily conversations and talk about how He works in your life.  Go to church, worship and pray together.  Put them in places where they can be mentored and taught by other faithful Christians.  Model the fruits of the Spirit and servanthood. Challenge them to choose the Spirit over flesh when they make decisions, and let them know that you are trying to do this daily, too.  Be aware of what comes into your house through the media and computer.  Don't be afraid to stand up for what you want your family to be.  Living in an intentional home can produce courage and security.

I don't know who originally said this, but the other day, a friend posted this quote:

 

 

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."  Deuteronomy 6:4-9

 

Be Faithful

The most important thing that you can do for your family, is to keep growing in YOUR faith.  Be most concerned about your relationship with God.  If your first priority is to keep growing more like Christ, this will affect how you act around others.  When you please Christ and bring glory to God in all that you do, you will be a better spouse and parent. Your children will see this and it will be attractive to them.  Do not just try to look good, learn to grown in Christ and teach them to do the same.  A good goal is to look more like Christ this time next year than you do today.  Keep growing in knowledge and faith!

Be Real

Hypocrites repulse, confuse and frustrate people.  For your family, you need to be real.  If you talk the talk, but don't walk the walk, no one will respect you.  People follow people they respect.  Your children are no different.  If you are not who you say you are or who they are expecting you to be, they will see right through you.   The last thing we want to do is raise people who are more concerned with how they look on the outside, than how they really are inside.  It's okay to be vulnerable with your children.  Let them see that you are not perfect and that through your struggles you have learned to lean on God.  When we model humility, we show our children that our reliance is on God and we realize our limitations.  If you do not admit that you need God, why would you ever expect them to realize that they need Him?

"But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people."   2 Timothy 3:1-5

Do not be a parent that appears to be godly, but denies God's power.  Kids recognize hypocrites better than anyone.  And, remember, they have a front row view to you.

Be Gracious

 

Give your children the same grace that you have been given.  Remember that their little worlds can be full of stress and home should be a safe place. Be kind when you speak to them, do not be sarcastic or demeaning.  Be gentle, share the truth in love and season all discipline with grace and mercy.   Allow them to fall and learn.  It is better to have erred and learned grace, than to only be concerned with looking perfect on the outside.     
 

 

Our goal is to pass the baton to them and let them run ahead, faithful and godly.  As time ticks down and they are preparing to run on, let's be intentional, faithful, real and gracious.  Ask God to show you how to do this and trust Him to work through you.  He cares about your children even more than you.  In the end, we will stand before God and give an account for how we parented our children.  We will be the one's held accountable.

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Remember....to pass the baton, you actually have to be in the race....are you?