This is Your Invitation

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”                     Matthew 28:19-20

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” Acts 1:8 

If you have been waiting for someone to ask you to serve God, this is your invitation. Jesus has already invited you. 

I love the church, but remember that the church is not a building.  It is not just the group of people that you worship with every week.  You are the church because you are in the body of Christ.  You have authority to serve and power to witness, not because of the local church that you belong to, but because the power of the living God dwells in you and has called you to go and witness for Him.

Christians spend too much time organizing and making plans.  I can't tell you how many times over the years I have made phone calls and Excel spreadsheets organizing workers. I have come up with clever titles for events, bought treats for helpers, made flyers and schedules, decorated tables, the list goes on and on.  I think that Christians have become spoiled and we are all waiting for our local church to organize something that we can go do for a few hours to serve God.  We want our children to see us serving God and learn how to do that.  We want to make the people happy that call us on the phone and ask for our help.  We want to make sure that if no one stepped up to do it, we at least will try so that we can help with whatever they are organizing.  After all, if no one helps, the event won't take place.

I think that church programs have messed up our thinking on this.  Hear me, if your church is needing you to serve, you have a responsibility as a member of your local body of believers to help.  But, do not wait for them to ask you to get out of your stinking self and do something for God.  I have spent so many years as a Christian, being so utterly concerned with myself and my own spiritual growth or participation in programs, that it kind of makes me sick.  Being a Christian is not about how well you do at spending 15 minutes every morning reading your devotional over coffee (though that is good for growing closer to God personally and learning His word).  It is not about denying yourself the extra cookies or whatever you crave (though it is good to practice self discipline and not be a slave to your flesh).  It is not about signing up on every sheet that goes around (though it is good to help when there is a need).  All of those things are important.  They keep you focused and give you ways to act out your faith.

But, listen to me!  We do not need to wait until we know enough or are good enough.  We do not need to wait until our own local church has asked us to join them for something.  We need to listen to what God is calling us to do and just do it!!!  Being a Christian is loving and serving God and loving and serving others. 

I am going to share a story with you.  I am not doing this to give myself any glory or praise.  I am doing this to give you an example of hearing an invitation from God and just acting on it.

Once, when I took my girls for mani/pedis, I stopped for a minute and took it all in.  There we were, just spending money for a treat.   It wasn't necessary and it was frivolous, but it was fun.  It was fun because for a little bit, we just sat there and had someone do something that made us feel a little prettier.  We were pampered.

Then later that week, I met with my small accountability group, and I stopped for a minute and took it all in.  There we were, women, sitting on a couch in the middle of a morning, sharing, laughing and praying with each other.   We are all busy, but we try to get together, just to share needs and have honest vulnerability and transparency.  It is not necessary, we don't have to do it....but it is good to be with other women.  We were fellowshipping. 

God grabbed my heart and place an idea in there.  What if I went to hurting women and painted their nails and just sat with them a while?  What if, instead of meeting a real need or just donating money, I just did something frivolous for them and loved them in Christ for a little bit every week.  God put this idea in my heart four month ago....and then I just let it sit there.

I'm busy.  I have stuff going on.  So do you....it doesn't matter.  If God has placed something on your heart, just go do it!

I sat with our home group last week and we were discussing Pharisees....you know, the people who were supposed to love God the most, but had completely lost sight of what that meant?  God had been speaking to my heart all that week that until I went and painted the nails, everything was on hold.  I know that sounds strange and it may not even be true.  But, I felt like God has something big for me to do, but He would not do it until I went and sat and painted nails.  So that night, I told our group what I wanted to do.  I told them, because I knew that when we met the next week, they would hold me accountable.  If they asked if I had done it, and I said no, they had permission to throw stuff at me:)

 

So a week passed and it was the day of the next home group.  I was running out of hours.  I said I would do it, so I had to.  I got in my car, and drove to Food and Shelter for Friends in downtown Norman.  I had asked them months ago about doing this, so they knew that someday I would come. 

I pulled up around 10 and a crowd was already out there waiting for lunch.  There were probably 50 people all around in in middle of the day.  They were one block south of the theatre where we spend a lot of time.  They were there because they were hungry.  Many were homeless.

I will tell you more about this later, but for now, you just need to know that I drove there and I went in and I painted fingernails for an hour and a half.  It didn't really cost me anything, it didn't take much time.  But this weekend, I thought about women like Natalie and Julie, that had sparkly, pretty nails because I listened to God and just did it.  I am looking forward to going back there every week and some of my friends and my daughters will be going there, too.

If there is something that God has placed on your heart to do, please just do it.  If you can do it with your local church, great!  But if you can't, just do it.  Get with the people that are doing things and do it!  Or just go by yourself.  You have the power from the Holy Spirit and you have the command from Christ.....just go.  And when you are there, make sure they know you love Jesus and that is why you came.  This is your invitation. 

If you do not see the image, Click here for Casting Crowns' song, If We Are the Body 

 

 

 

Fussy

Last weekend, Tim and I worked the Sweet Shop at the theater.  When we volunteer in there, I always spend the whole time at the popcorn machine and Tim is the cashier and is face to face with the customers. 

We are a well oiled machine....not just in the concession stand, but in life in general.  We are a good team.  We serve, teach and work together.  We often send the same text at the same time and it's not uncommon for us to finish each other's sentences.   We are so used to teaching as a couple, that when I teach without him by my side, I feel like something is missing. He really is my best friend.  The cheesy Jerry Maguire line, "You Complete Me", works for us.  That's how we feel. 




One of my favorite Mary Engelbreit pictures, we have it in a frame.

We got to this point, because we focused on the other person as much, if not more, than we focused on ourselves.  We checked in with each other before scheduling things, buying things, going places....we touched base throughout the day.  I saved a few minutes to look in the mirror and freshen up before he came home, and when he did, I tried to meet him at the door.  We laughed at dinner and couldn't wait to go to the movies or do something fun together.  I cared if he might be thirsty working in the yard or hungry for a snack. We always went back to bed together.  We always put toothpaste on the other's toothbrush.  We always kissed before we said goodnight.

Lately, I've let selfishness creep into my heart.  I do what I want, then I tell him.  I go where I want, then I tell him.  I grab a snack and don't see if he wants one, too.   I have caught myself getting into the habit of going to the bedroom, watching DVR'd stuff and just falling asleep for the night....while he is still in the other part of the house.

I am catching myself starting to get selfish and this blog is meant to wake me.  Let this be a wake up call to you, too.

Some of you reading this are not married, some have been, but are not anymore.  But, for those of you that are married....get over yourself and remember that marriage is

1 + 1= 1  not 1 + 1= 2

Don't get selfish.  Marriage is a team sport.  It works when you work together.  The two become one.  Once you start trying to go solo, if you are not careful, you will look up and be far, far away. 

I do not want that to happen to us, or to you!

One of our all time favorite studies on marriage is Tommy Nelson's video series on Song of Solomon and it's companion book, The Book of Romance.  We went through this study when we dated and have facilitated it with many groups through the years.  Tommy Nelson married us in Norman in 1993 and we actually had the great privilege of having a few pre-marital counseling meetings with him. 

I always remembered something that he said in one of the lessons, but when I was a younger wife, I did not get it.   From his book:

 I asked my wife, Teresa, one time what happens when women get older.  I said, "Men get rigid and robotic.  We start operating by rote.  What is it that women become?"

She replied, "We get fussy.  We have no tolerance for things not being done our way."

We reflected upon these statements for a while and came to two conclusions: (1)  these traits do not necessarily need to develop and  (2)  these traits develop because people become self-centered and self-focused.  They increasingly want what they want, to the exclusion of others.

Webster's dictionary defines fussy as fastidious about one's needs or requirements; hard to please

In May, we celebrate our 20th anniversary.  I have become fussy.  I am sweet about it, but I am fussy.  Some of the little things that I used to do, I don't do anymore.

While we were working in the Sweet Shop, we actually had a little argument about what a customer said.  I thought he said "do you have any diet cokes" and Tim heard "do you have any diet candy".  Keep in mind, I was facing the loud popcorn machine and Tim was looking at the man's face.  I seriously bantered back and forth, trying to prove that he wanted diet coke.  Are you kidding me?  What does it matter, anyway?

Sometimes, instead of supporting him and helping him, I try to show that I know more.

Sometimes, when he comes home for the day, he has to come find me.

The other day, I realized that it was almost dinner time, and I hadn't touched base with him all day....

Last night, I rolled over and went to sleep and didn't even say goodnight.

In order for marriage to work, you have to get outside of yourself and care as much or even more about your spouse than you do yourself.  It doesn't matter if you get your way or win every argument.  I am not the boss of him.  I am his helpmeet and supporter.  I am created and given to him to encourage him and provide a safe haven.  In Song of Solomon language, we both should be like apple trees, providing shade and comfort.  Of all the people on earth, he should want to be with me the most, and vice versa.  Of the places in the world, home should be the best of all.

Do you find yourself in a marriage of two?  If you are a man, have gotten rigid and robotic?  If you are a women, are you selfish and fussy?

Robert and Elizabeth Browing, the Victorian Era poets, had a famous love.  It was Elizabeth that wrote:

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

 

 

And Robert, to his wife, in his poem  "Rabbi ben Ezra":

 

          Grow old along with me
          The best is yet to be,
          The last of life, for which the first was made:
          Our times are in His hand
          Who saith "A whole I planned,
          Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!''




Marriage isn't the early years, when you are still in the honeymoon stage and everything about everything is perfect.  Marriage is about the entirety of a life together.  Life gets messy and sometimes hurts.  Marriage is two people with individual goals, passions and preferences that have learned how to work as one.

Tim and I are a well oiled machine, because from the beginning, we looked to God for our standard and our instructions. We love God more than we love each other.  And, though it sounds strange, we love each other more than we love our children-at least it's a different kind of love.  Our relationship with our children is not the same.  We have been given them as a gift, and they are our great blessings.  But, we are not in a covenantal relationship with them like we are with each other.  One day, they will be gone and they will enter into the covenant of marriage.  As much as I love my daughters, if I do not love my husband more, I am not modeling the right relationship for them.  If the most important relationship in all of my life is not my husband, then I will not have the marriage that I want- or marriage as God designed it to be.    Once we start taking our eyes off of that, we will begin to slip. 

You don't get to "the last of life, for which the first was made" by being rigid and fussy.  You get there by being kind, soft, and attentive.  You get there by putting the needs of your spouse above your own. 

You get there by:

Not only looking at your interests, but the interests of others (Phil 2:4). 
Loving and respecting each other (Eph. 5).
Honoring the structure of the family (Eph. 5)
Having a having the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3)
Not allowing Satan to enter and tempt because you deny and neglect each other sexually (1 Cor. 7)
Serving each other as if serving the Lord (Eph. 6, Col. 3)
Denying yourself and walking in the Spirit (Gal. 5)

Look at yourself....are you fussy?  Get over yourself and love your mate.  Love God with all your heart and all your soul and all your might.  I'm pretty sure if loving God was my focus,  my fussy would fade away.....

 

Carl & Ellie: The Married Life- Video Clip from Disney's/Pixar Up
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